Case of Mistaken Identity Leaves Comedian in Critical Condition
CLOUD CITY, BESPIN—A misunderstanding on the planet Bespin has left Phow Zi, an Arkudan comedian, in critical condition following a brutal attack by Nuthros Nosyte, a Bespin native and former galaxy-class Teräs Käsi master. The Neimoidian Nosyte reportedly mistook Zi, whose appearance at the SkyCenter Galleria had drawn a crowd of thousands, for Phow Ji, a former Palawa Band champion and military advisor who perished during the Clone Wars, nearly twenty-five years ago.
The comedian’s agent, Seagg Laybas, recounted the minutes leading up to the attack: “Zi had just launched into the bit about the Grand Moff and the Askajian masseuse—crowds always eat that one up—when the Neimoidian jumped onto the stage and started yammering about revenge. Zi called for security, and the Neimoidian just lost it.”
Upon realizing that the Arkudan comedian was not his long-deceased rival, Nosyte declared that Zi was an imposter and a coward before launching himself forward and delivering a flurry of punches and kicks into the Arkudan’s stout body.
“The Neimoidian kept screaming at Zi, at everyone,” Laybas continued, wiping sweat from his brow. “Zi couldn’t hear him, though, because he was unconscious after taking just a couple hits.”
Security pounced upon Nosyte just seconds later, but the damage that the Neimoidian had managed to do in just a short span of time was terrifyingly severe. Phow Zi suffered seven fractured or broken bones, required minor reconstructive surgery to be performed on his face, and spent nearly thirty hours in a bacta tank. While his condition is now stable, Zi is still in severe pain and is prone to bouts of prolonged unconsciousness.
“He’s trying to put on a brave face, and be the same light-hearted Phow Zi that the galaxy loves, but every day is a struggle,” said Laybas. “It could be weeks. It could be months. But I would like to assure all the worried fans out there that Zi will be back—and better than ever!”
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